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Sep. 27th, 2005 @ 10:35 am
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If Bush's baked beans family recipe is so secret, why are the ingredients on the can? |
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Aug. 7th, 2005 @ 11:19 pm
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Until you've only known loss, one can never know the true fraternal feeling of winning |
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Jul. 26th, 2005 @ 12:48 am
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Homosexuality is nature's way of saying overpopulation is getting out of hand. |
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Jul. 25th, 2005 @ 01:50 am
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Religious fanaticism in any way shape or form is evil. A contradiction of life that can't get through to minds already clouded to partial judgements towards a goal unto which there is no end.
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Between richer and poorer classes in a free country a mutually respecting antagonism is much healthier than pity on the one hand and dependence on the other, as is, perhaps, the next best thing to fraternal feeling.
~Charles Horton Cooley |
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Jul. 12th, 2005 @ 09:33 pm
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Politics are gay. Think of it as a spoken Cival War, everyone can't agree on anything but yet they agree that disagreeing is their main priority. They sub-classify each other so that at the end of the day they can say they belong to something and think they have a purpose in life. When in reality, we could probably live without their lying bullshit. Now if I had to classify myself I'd have to say I'm a Libertarian, but even then I feel like a douche-bag because it's still making me part of a group in which I don't want to have any relation to. Can't anyone just be a person anymore? Like we have to be something? You look at a balot and see most of the time only three parties, and if I have to name them all I have to say is stop buying the newspaper to read the sports section and comics(you air wasting sack of shit that you are). I'd much rather see someone with a conscience go up on a podium and speak his mind than have some useless sack of shit reading things that other people have to write for him in a mono-toned fashion, dancing around words so that when the next election come up he still retains the majority of the black vote like he actually does something. |
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Well my life finally for once appears to be moving in a linear direction. My grades have never been better, for once in my life I'm in shape, and I have a lot of people who care about me(even when some of them aren't around a lot, In times of need they are there). But one undefined goal still pulls at the back of my head telling me to pursue it, paintball. A petty sport by many peoples standards and maybe because they havent been around for the evolution of it as I have. For 7 years I've played and watched it go from a war game to a team sport, yet people's negligence alludes them to assume it is a n activity for wanna-be gun toting heathens. Maybe that's what they said about football, skateboarding, and maybe even more extreme things like UFC.
Everyday I practice for a sport that is more of an underground only now begginning to tug at the industries ankles. The hope of one day being able to live out of my gear bag with only a marker and a jersey entralls me to be the best. I spend every moment of free time I have teaching newbies how to fix their markers, how to run and gun better, how to snap-shoot with the best, but for what? Something that seems so far away yet within our reach, a chance to one day be great?
The greatest part of paintball is that no one man can be good, unlike in other sports where a few good men can carry a team to victory. All that matters is being a team; even the biggest and baddest Pro team in the world isn't good because of great players, they are good because they know what the other is thinking at all times. I once read a book called "Enders Game", in this book they played a game similar to paintball in null gravity. I guess you could say playing my sport is the closest I'll ever get to that in my lifetime, but hopefully the game will carry on to bring it to that level. All I can do now is sit and wait, practice practice practice practice practice.
"STONE TOUCH SO RARE IN THE AIR
STOLEN BUT STILL PUTS UP A FIGHT
WHEN THE DAYS SING BLASý
HOPEFULLY ESTRANGED HERE I AM
STRAINED IN THIS STRANGE LOVE I FIND
YOU WHIP ME WITH MY OWN DESIRE
CATCHING THE ASHES OF THE FIRE
WILL I FIND LOVE TONIGHT?
YOU ARE THE FIRE OF TONIGHT
WHY AM I HERE?
YOU HAVE ALL THE STRENGTH TO LOSE
I AM STRUGGLING YOU SAY STAY STAY
YOU LIVE ON THROUGH ALL THE SUFFERING THROUGH TODAY
ASKED TO LEAVE YOUR LOVE CAUSE MY HEART ALWAYS TOO FAR
SO WE ARE WE ARE GHOSTS"
~Echobrain.
May. 27th, 2005 @ 01:57 am
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Thinking and knowing are 2 polar opposites, I'm amazed at the amount of people in this world that fail to realize that.
Luke:"I can't believe it" Yoda:" That is why you fail."
May. 14th, 2005 @ 09:09 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I would much rather my father be dead, than alive and not talk to me. I've lived my whole life without him and I've turned out like shit.
Every day I feel myself slipping, bak to that place I was, where I long to be. Back to when death was thought of as another beginning and not as an end, and maybe it is, but how are we to know if we are walking among the living.
May. 1st, 2005 @ 11:17 pm
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If life ever has you down
Follow the white rabbit
To a place called wonderland
It's never where you're going, it's how you get there that is the mightier choice among us.
Apr. 21st, 2005 @ 05:58 am
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| » Hail to Purgatory |
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A voice calls out in the white facade
I shall purge the waste from the soul
But I am not fearful, I have not given you hope
I merely don’t believe
So when the hounds of hell come barking
And the wings of angels caress the wind
Don’t give them false hope
Don’t give them a begging reason
For Diablo has given me nothing
And when the god of Earth has failed my hearts content
I shall look up in all of life's glory
And I shall hail none but purgatory
As I rest waiting for my true call
I can remember a faint voice ride the illusion
A memory of what used to be
A bier for my conscience to fly on
There are no nicks in these veins
No smoke in my blackened heart
Yet still its ashen grey depicts my life’s path of karma
And where were you, AND WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?
For Diablo has given me nothing
And when the god of Earth has failed my hearts content
I shall look up in all of life's glory
And I shall hail none but purgatory
_________________________
My song, among various others that might get posted.
Apr. 16th, 2005 @ 11:56 pm
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All of the men in her life just want to bring her down, to get in bed with her, to make her hate herself even more. All I want to do is hold her, just once, but God would never give me the pleasure.
~ Humanity doesn't ask us to be happy. It merely asks us to be brilliant on its behalf.
Mazer Rackham - Ender's Game
Apr. 15th, 2005 @ 05:05 am
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| » Save Toby |
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Wow this Terry Shiavo thing is really pissing me off, dont you think 15 years is torture enough, jeez. Anywho, it got me thinking about what I would want my family or significant other to do if I were in the same boat. Let me die, if the chances are slim that when I wake up I will be the same again, let me die. Also, I was thinking what my living will would be like? Probably something like this......
Don't bring life back into my body, unless that life is the same life I had before.
My sentiments
1. Everything Sentimental to my Mom my Grandmas and family. Anything my mother wants to keep, is up to her. If it isnt on this list, it's all hers to do whatever she want with.
2. My paintball guns to TJ, only he knows what they mean to me.
3. My jersey on my grave, because no matter what sport I play, 13 will always be my number. I would like all of my family and friends to write something on it for me.
4. My journals to Garett, I dont care if he reads them, but if I'm dead I'd like them burned so no one else can read them. Just psycho babble in them anyway. My games and books to him as well.
5. All of my money to Tyler, my new nephew.
6. My car to who ever needs it.
7. My Futon, computer, and sci-fi collecton(just out of spite) to Eric.
8. My huge coin collection(probably worth a million) to Stephanie along with a few things I'd leave especially for her if my situation grew dire enough to where I knew I would die. The songs in my journals would be taken out for her.
9. Most everthing else to the rest of my friends and family.
Probably a bunch of crap left out because I'm tired. The stuff all over the news just got me thinking.
Mar. 25th, 2005 @ 02:31 am
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Money and greed walk hand in hand. I grow weary of hearing people talk about different ways to make a fortune ,or different marketing plans to appeal to a specific market to make rich men and women richer. News Flash People! You model your lives after a peice of green paper. Let me ask you an honest question, if the world ended tommorow, what would money do for you?
Money is not power, money is a tool for the general populace. When you come into this world you automatically owe something not to yourself, and not even to this world (or universe for that matter), but you owe something to existence. Eternity is now people, take advantage of it. I strive to live. If there were one thing I wanted out of my life it would be to have people remember me. When the world does end, I want to know that the things I taught in life will be remembered.
The next time you spend a dollar make sure you know that it is the only thing that will ever matter to simple minded people, in this world. Make sure you know that you will never be able to live in a utopia as long as 4 major ideas are in place. Money, religion, science, and politics. Utopias can't exist anyways, maybe I'll save that topic for a later post.
~When eternity is gone, how will you be remembered?
-Me
Feb. 28th, 2005 @ 12:36 am
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| » Sackgina. |
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Well I start school in a month at ITT. I went to DBCC for about 4 weeks before I realized how much like high school it was. Hopefully ITT isn't like that, from what they've told me it is more like on the job training. I'll be going for some kind of engineering, probably computers since it is my passion. I hope it will be fun.
I don't know if I'll be able to work and go to school at the same time so if not, Publix can give me less hours or fuck off, I don't care. Anywho, I've decided to go through with writing my book. It may be a long time coming, but it will happen nonetheless. The basis of my first book is undecided. I have 3 books in my head right now and I can't seem to decide which one is more kickass than the other. Updates soon as to what it is and when I will start it. I'll be writing it while I'm in school so I'm estimating a few years until I even get it near completion.
Feb. 20th, 2005 @ 08:03 pm
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| » Friends. |
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I've started trying to hang out with my old friends again. I figure, what do I have to lose? I'm tired, I'm weak and I can't even see what's in front of me anymore. I think old friends will help me see that. I'm supposed to be a singer in a new band with a few guys at work but I'm not sure if I can do it. I'm a good singer but I've actually done it in front of any one minus my family. I need something to hold on to though.
Feb. 15th, 2005 @ 11:03 pm
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Whoa been a while since I updated. Well since the 28th I've realized I'm just doing all the things my parents want me to. Ive always liked the military but when ever I mentioned it, my mother would scream at me not to even think about it. So I've decided to do what I <------ want to do.My girlfriend is the same and I don't feel like dealing with her anymore, but I just would feel weird throwing away 2 years. I'm trying to hang with some new faces and maybe even see through my mistakes and want to be ther e for them again. #1 mistake from me is thinking that my old friends never cared about me but in reality we all probably had the same idea, and that was to grow up. I realized I need them back, I want them back.
-"Time is a persistent illusion"
Einstein (my favorite quote)
Oct. 22nd, 2004 @ 11:08 pm
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| » Late Nights |
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Well another night by myself watching more movies and playing games. I don't think there's been a day where my mom doesn't try and wake me up at 7 am. I don't think she realizes that i work until 11:30 every night and when I get home I'm still super hyper so I stay up until like 3 am. Any way I'm getting off track from sulking in my own misery, yeah just playing games with little 5 year olds who thinks its funny to stay up past midnight. How much more pathetic can my life be. Over the last 3 months I think I've been more pissed off at my girlfriend than I have in the 2 years we've been toghether (getting way too clingy). Any ways I'm going to get back to playing games then probably watch Full Metal Jacket. Don't worry I'll only kill myself in the game.
Sep. 28th, 2004 @ 12:48 am
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| » First post. |
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I cant seem to think of why I am who I am. I've lost so many things but what have I gained?
Some times I just wonder what things would be like if I managed my life differently. I know, it's one of those cliche things you always hear in movies. What if I stood up for my self, what if I got better grades, what if Ryan loved me back, what if I never met and fell in love with steph, what if I didnt let some of my friends go, and did I let them go? I like to question the posibility that I made my own choices. But, I know thats not true, they were made for me. I miss things I can never hold onto again, I love things that hold on too much. I miss Ryan, I miss Spencer, I miss David, I miss Stephen, I miss High school, I miss making my own choices. But most of all I miss being able to laugh and be myself, what is life with out Love , laughter, and life. I strive to be mediocre and hope that all will be good again.
I came, I saw, I conquered -Ceasar
Sep. 25th, 2004 @ 07:37 pm
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scifidelity's journal